I come from a culture where matchmaking exists. In the days of my parents, it was the only way where single people were allowed to find a lifetime partner. I used to look at matchmaking as very old fashion. I believe in free love – find who you love and who you want to marry. I was out looking for love but in all the wrong places. Needless to say, I was wounded more than once.
I was in a few relationships before I became a Christian and they all ended up very badly. My heart began to shy away from the thought of marriage, without even realising it. I poured myself into serving the local church I was committed to. A friend commented to me one day that I was too busy to date anyone. That did make me wonder if it was true. However, I chose to push that thought away quickly.
Some years later, after my graduation from the Bible School, I had the impression that God was speaking to me about marriage. I felt I heard Him saying to me “You will get married and have your own family. I am preparing you for marriage.” I know the voice of God, but at that moment, I felt it was too good to be true. Perhaps I was too afraid to be disappointed again?
God is a wonderful Father. He will pursue us with His best. Several months down the road, a friend came through Kuala Lumpur, after his meetings in India, on his way back to New Zealand. He telephoned and asked to catch up with me. While we were seated in the Hotel Café, he suddenly asked me if I wanted to be married. I was a little surprised but managed to reply that I believe that I will get married one day (remembering what God had told me). This friend very confidently announced that the Lord wants him to tell me this: “Yes you will get married. You will have your own family and God is preparing you for marriage!” I almost fell off my chair! He just repeated word for word what I heard from the Lord. Now, God has truly caught my attention!
What do I do now that I know God had spoken to me? Prayer is always the best place to start, don’t you agree? I went back to Father God and began to dialogue with Him. What does this preparation of marriage look like? Am I supposed to attend a marriage course? Or read a book on marriage? What should I do? Talking to God and journaling what He says is vital as soon as we know that He is trying to get our attention about a matter.
I started thinking about the man I will be marrying. I wrote down what sort of person I would like to marry. In my list, I began to write down (1) He must be a Christian who is either an Intercessor or at least understands intercession (because I am an Intercessor, I told the Lord, as if He did not know). (2) I want to marry a man who would lay down his life for me as Christ laid down His life for the Church. I had no idea why I desire this, but I just did.
I began to pray for this man I would be marrying even though I have no idea who he was and how I was going to meet him. As I began to take time to process this promise with Father God, He very patiently and lovingly showed me that His preparation for me was not head knowledge. It was a heart transformation. I needed healing in my heart so I could trust and love again. I needed to learn to receive and give love. I had a lot of negative mindsets about men and marriage due to the betrayal I have experienced in relationships and what I saw and heard from family and friends.
Since I became a Christian, I just wanted to spend time loving Jesus, because I know He is faithful. I buried my time and life in ministry because I was too afraid to be rejected again by another man. God had to help me revisit some of those pain and discover what lies I have believed in and accept His truth to replace these lies. I had to learn to forgive many and be willing to open up my heart to trust and dare to venture into the marriage He has in His heart for me.
I saw from the Scriptures, that Father God was the Matchmaker. He brought Rebekah to Isaac (Genesis 24). He introduced Rachel to Jacob (Genesis 29). My faith was in what He promised me and that He is able to make good what He promised me. I will continue with my story about how Father brought me and my husband together in my next blog. But for now, I feel He wants to do something special for you.
My husband and I have been asked many times how we met. Each time we shared our testimonies, people were blessed. We were asked to lay hands and pray for some. There were several of these precious friends who later met their spouses and are now happily married, all because of the goodness of God).
I feel like there are people reading this, you are going through the preparation of the Lord to love again. To trust His promises to you. Now is the time to step into absorbing all that Father wants to impart to you. He wants to help you to go to the next level of breakthrough. Soaking in His healing balm where pain has been lingering.
Although the prophetic words came to me loud and clear, they did not happen immediately. There is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). The time of healing had to come first for me, before the introduction to my man. I am so glad that God is wiser than I am. So will you, if you allow Him to prepare you and wait for the one that is right for you.
I will continue with my part 2 the next time. For now, I feel like the Holy Spirit is inviting us into a time of healing. Even for those of us who are married, there is deeper love that God wants to unblock in our hearts for our spouse. Shall we pray?
Father, we thank you for always looking out for our good. We want to be healed. We want to be able to give love and receive love. We don’t want to run away from love because of bad hang-ups and lies about marriage. We renounce the lies that say “no one can be trusted, the person we love will betray us, we are not good enough to be married, our marriage will not last, we have missed the chance or anything other lies that are blocking us from receiving and giving love” in Jesus’ name!
What truth do you want to give us to replace these lies? Please spend a couple of minutes and allow God to talk to you. It could be a vision, a scripture, a thought, an impression, a sense or a feeling that you are beginning to experience now. Just stay in that open heart posture and receive from your loving Father.
Write them down the truth Go has given you today. The truth of God is always encouraging, freeing, comforting and upbuilding. Once you have received truth from the Lord to replace the lie that you have believed about marriage, receive it, believe in it and begin to declare that over yourself. Whenever the same negative thought tries to come back to you, renounce it and speak the truth from the Lord out loud. Our soul needs to hear the truth of the Lord.
Be blessed, my friends. I will meet you again the next time.